My dress journey, from Paris to Helsinki

Where to start?

As a big fan of “Say yes to the dress”, all editions, I was of course super excited to go try on dresses. I was dreaming of this big emotional moment when everything feels right. As a person with an eating disorder and big confidence issue though, the whole process was very scary.

As soon as I got engaged I started many projects, I booked vendors and jumped with all my heart in the wedding planning process. However, I didn’t plan anything for my dress, somehow, I was leaving it out as it was a trigger for my anxiety. However, it seemed that it was the most important thing for people around me, and the questions about my dress were everywhere.

In December 2021, I finally opened up to one of my friends and bridesmaid to be. I told

her about my insecurities, my big expectations and the pressure I felt from everyone around me. She then told me that the only solution was to just take action, to book a time, to start somewhere, and that she would come with me. That’s how I booked an appointment at Pronovias in Paris. I invited my mom, a

nd 2 of my bridesmaids. The appointment was nice, dresses were nice, but mostly this moment was crucial to just take down the pressure. I realized at that point that it was not about pleasing others, it was not about having the biggest moment of my life, it was simply about finding something I’d love to wear.

Let the fun begin!

Fast forward a few months, when, for my 30th birthday, my lovely partner secretly booked an appointment for me at Niinatar in Helsinki. Not only he surprised me with the appointment, but he also didn’t mention that I would get to go with 2 of my bridesmaids and best friends (who live respectively in Germany and Italy)!! I got all the feels during this session of dress shopping, I was so excited to have my besties with me and I did cry several times. I tried on beautiful dresses and especially loved one. However, I wasn’t ready quite yet to make a choice. I will always remember this moment of love and joy, it was amazingly fun and emotional.

Later in the spring, I went to Wedding garage, a 2nd hand and body positive shop. I had been thinking of going there since day one, as they really have the same values as me. This appointment felt more intimate, it was very focused on me feeling good in my body and I think that was a key part in the process. I shared this moment with a good friend who was about to get married herself. The dresses were lovely but what I will remember the most is the customer service. My confidence was now renewed, I think that’s when I was finally ready.

Trust the process

I believe everything led me to this dress. I needed to first lower the pressure, I needed to share with close friends and family, I needed to feel better about my body, I needed to know more what I like.

I had planned to go alone to this last appointment, at Lovebirds in Helsinki, a well-known wedding 2nd hand shop. I had decided to have a self-care day, something that I would have never done before. So, I went to the hairdresser in the morning, put makeup on, bought myself a nice drink. At the last minute 2 of my lovely colleagues offered to come with me. It’s like the context was perfect, I was feeling so good at that point. I tried several dresses but one really stood out. Funnily enough it was the same brand and a very similar dress to the one I loved at Niinatar earlier. But now everything was aligned, I was ready to love it, I was ready to find myself pretty enough, and I was convinced that 2nd hand was the way to go for me. I called my future husband to share my emotion, he said that if I loved it so much I should stop looking. I then called my bestie and maid of honor to be, I needed to share with her too and I got her approval. That was it, I had found the perfect dress to say yes.

So, in the end I did get my moment, and looking at it I love the whole process that brought me to it. We then went with my colleagues to have great food and drinks to celebrate, it was simple but felt amazing.

And then what?

My dress stayed at a friend's house for 8 months before I brought it to a great seamstress: Morsiusompelimo in Helsinki. After a few alterations I saw my dream dress come to life. As the wedding got closer I had doubts about everything including the dress, but let's face it, you should not trust your crazy brain at that point.

Then it was time, the time I've been waiting for, time to put it on to marry my soulmate. This dress felt so right on the morning of my wedding day as my mom and maids of honor helped me put it on. This dress was so "me" and in the end that's all that matters.

Picture: Sander Vill

Dress: Morilee Sparrow modified